


Reward

by orphan_account



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Avengers - Freeform, Black Widow - Freeform, Bucky Barnes - Freeform, F/M, Hydra, Marvel - Freeform, Natasha Romanoff - Freeform, Scarlet Witch - Freeform, Wanda Maximoff - Freeform, james bucky barnes - Freeform, mcu - Freeform, non graphic rape, steve rogers - Freeform, winter soldier - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2019-09-19 13:47:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17002809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Bucky deals with a previous Hydra victim





	Reward

Reward  
Steve glanced over at Bucky and knew that his best friend was nervous. He gripped his shoulder. “You know you can wait in the jet. We’ll call if we need reinforcements.”  
Bucky snapped out of his thoughts. “No. I need to do this.”  
They were about to land at a Hydra base near Siberia. It wasn’t where Bucky or the other Winter Soldiers had been kept, but it was close. Bucky had been cleared to go on missions for months now. T’Challa and his team had eradicated his brainwashing and developed an even better metal prosthetic.  
However, Bucky hadn’t faced anyone from Hydra since his recovery. Of course Steve, being the overprotective friend, was worried it was too much, too soon for Bucky.  
“We’re 5 minutes out.” Nat announced.  
It was a smaller team today: Steve, Bucky, Nat, Wanda, Sam, and Vision.  
They didn’t know what they’d find at the base. There could be people cowering inside or it could be abandoned.  
“Just let me know if it’s too much.” Steve muttered as they felt the jet landing.  
“Stop treating him like he’s made out of glass, Steve.” Sam walked up beside them, wings strapped to his back and pulling his goggles down.  
Steve glared at him, but Bucky had a little side smirk. He pretended to be irritated by Sam, but he had actually grown quite fond of the man. Their bickering was one of the few interactions he had with people on the team.  
The rest of the team walked up behind them. They’d already gone through the plan. Everyone knew their jobs. They all double checked their comms before stepping down the lowering platform.  
“It is rather quiet.” Vision in his peaceful tone. He hovered a few inches off the ground as his eyes scanned the area.  
“Pretty eerie.” Nat scoffed.  
“Sam, are you getting any heat readings?” Steve asked.  
“Nah. It’s cold.” His voice was calm, further proving that he didn’t feel there was any immediate threat.  
“Well, that doesn’t mean we’re alone.” Steve reminded everyone.  
“I-I feel something.” Wanda gasped. They all looked at her. “It’s faint. Someone…or something is here.”  
“Let’s split up. It’s too much ground to cover. We’ll be here all night if we stay together.” Steve instructed. “Wanda and Vision. Nat and Sam. Bucky you’re with me.” Bucky all but rolled his eyes to the back of his head. Of course he paired them together.  
A few minutes later they were stealthily walking down a dark hallway. The whole thing was constructed with concrete. But pipes must have burst at one point because the whole place was damp and smelled of mold. It sent chills down everyone’s back.  
“Is any of this ringing a bell?” Steve asked quietly.  
“Vaguely.” Bucky admitted. Though his brainwashing had been cured, his memories were still slowly returning. The doctors said he might never get it all back. But every month, he remembered more and more.  
But Bucky spoke too soon. His heart quickened when they reached a hallway that went off to the right. It was more narrow than the others. At the end of it was a door. But it was unlike the others they had passed at this area: it was a vault. Bucky couldn’t help but be drawn to it. Steve watched him silently, understanding that he had a sudden burst of familiarity.  
Steve put his finger to his ear. “Standby everyone: we might need back up.”  
“We reached a dead end already. We’re circling back to you.” Nat responded.  
Bucky gently placed a hand on the rusty metal.  
“Do you remember the combination?” Steve asked quietly.  
Bucky closed his eyes and slowly nodded. “I-I actually think I do.” He blinked a few times as he started turning the lock right, left, and then right again. Both of their super-senses heard the clicking of the lock being undone. Bucky looked back at Steve, sharing a look of surprise.  
Bucky pulled the heavy handle of the vault and pulled it open.  
Their eyes were met with complete darkness. Bucky already had the flashlight at the end of his gun on. He led the way. Meanwhile, Steve grabbed a flare from one of his pockets. He lit it up and tossed it on the ground as soon as he stepped through the fault.  
The inside was completely dry and preserved, unlike the rest of the building.  
But none of them noted this. They were too busy staring at the body. It was laying on a cot in the corner of the fault. A metal cuff was around their ankle and then chained to the floor.  
Bucky’s brow furrowed when he tried to push his mind to remember more. He’d been here before. When he got closer and closer to the body, something clicked. He rushed forward then, despite Steve’s protests for him to be careful.  
He tossed his gun aside, making Steve think he had lost his mind. It was a young woman, Bucky remembered her now. He remembered this whole place.  
She was wearing only a grey sports bra and baggy sweats. Her ribs were practically jutting through her skin, making it blatantly obvious that she had nearly starved to death.  
Bucky’s hand shook as he put a finger to see if she had a pulse.  
“She’s barely alive.” Bucky stated.  
Steve watched him carefully and saw his expression change. “Do you know her, Buck?”  
He didn’t look at Steve, just stared at the woman and nodded. But then he backed away as if even being close to her was a danger. He picked up his gun again and pressed himself against the wall as far away from her as possible.  
“Wanda, can you meet us?” Bucky asked his comms.  
“I felt it. You found her.” She gasped. “Vis and I are on our way.”  
Steve was confused by Bucky’s reaction. “Is she dangerous?”  
Bucky shook his head.  
“Bucky, talk to me. Who is she?” Steve whispered.  
But he just stared at the ground with a pained expression. Steve couldn’t tell if he was so lost in his head that he actually didn’t hear him or he was just ignoring the question.  
The rest of the team came running into the vault with their weapons raised.  
“It’s fine. It’s fine. Lower your weapons.” Wanda commanded. Everyone relaxed. But their eyes quickly fell on the lifeless body in the corner.  
“We have to bring her back with us.” Wanda whispered with a heartbroken face.  
Steve nodded in agreement. He strapped his shield to his back and took a step forward.  
“No!” Bucky yelped, making Steve stop. “Please…Just-just don’t touch her. Wanda, do you think you can…?”  
Despite every one else’s confusion, Wanda nodded and gave him a reassuring look. Waving her hands, red light came rushing from her and wrapped around the girl’s body. The red magic shattered the chain around the girl’s ankle. Wanda’s powers lifted her off the ground and she levitated a few feet into the air. She led the way with the body floating just in front of her as they all headed back to the jet.  
Steve stayed behind a bit when he saw Bucky trying to put as much space between him and the girl as possible.  
“Bucky, are we bringing something dangerous back to the compound?”  
He shook his head as his eyes stayed glued to the ground. “She’s harmless.”  
Steve didn’t ask anymore questions. Clearly Bucky wasn’t ready to talk about it. But he would have to explain at some point.  
When they were close to landing at the compound, Steve saw Bucky talking to Nat and Wanda as he flew the jet. The two women kept nodding their heads as Bucky spoke. A few minutes later, Nat came to sit in the co-pilot’s seat.  
“What did he say to you two?” Steve asked her quietly.  
“He asked that we stayed with her. Said to make sure men kept their distance when we took her to the med wing. We already called Dr. Cho.” Nat answered. “Did he explain any of this to you?”  
Steve’s jaw tightened. “He knows her. But he wouldn’t tell me anything.”  
“That place hasn’t been in operation for months. There’s no way she could’ve survived that long without food or water.” Nat thought aloud.  
“Maybe they moved her there recently and made a run for it?” Steve suggested.  
Nat nodded, contemplating the idea. Then she glanced behind her. “The way Bucky’s looking at her, it’s like he did that to her.” She narrowed her eyes. “She’s very beautiful.” Nat noted mostly to herself, like it was a scientific observation rather than opinion.  
“What does that have to do with anything?” Steve asked.  
Nat turned back around. “More than you might think.”  
–  
Bucky knew he wasn’t going to sleep that night, or maybe even for the next few nights. So he sat at the kitchen counter for hours, only moving when he wanted to refill his mug with coffee. He wasn’t mentally present. No, he was living in his head, trying to piece together the puzzle that was now his memory.  
Bucky was so lost in thought that he didn’t even hear Steve’s arrival.  
He walked in, also grabbing a mug of coffee, and moved to the stool next to Bucky. “It’s time to talk.” He declared.  
“Is she awake?” Bucky whispered.  
Steve shook his head. “Not yet.” He sighed. “She should make a full recovery. They expect her to wake up tomorrow or the day after.” Then his voice lowered. “Dr. Cho said she’s special…that she has enhanced healing. That’s why she was able to stay alive for that long without food or water.”  
“I know.” Bucky mumbled.  
“Why didn’t you say anything?”  
“I’m sorry. I’m just trying to sort out…everything.”  
Steve’s face softened and he reached out to place a hand on Bucky’s back in comfort. It finally made his friend look at him.  
Bucky’s bottom lip shook and his eyes got slightly watery. “You’re not going to like me after this story, Steve.” His voice shook with emotion.  
“What have we always said, punk?” Steve smiled encouragingly. “I’m with you until the end of the line.”  
Bucky nodded and took in a deep breath. “She was a prisoner too.”  
“A winter soldier?” Steve immediately asked.  
“No. Hydra was tracking down people with accelerated healing. They needed patients they could experiment on…that-that wouldn’t die so quickly. Hydra gave me the coordinates, I’d capture, and bring them back to base. A lot of them died, Steve.”  
“She was one of them?” He asked softly.  
Bucky nodded. “But I wasn’t the one to bring her in.”  
Silence filled the kitchen.  
“Keep going.” Steve requested.  
“A few years before we met again, I started misbehaving. They needed to take me out of cryo more frequently and the brainwashing wasn’t as effective. They tried different tactics. When they kidnapped Y/N, she was just a teenager-”  
“Y/N?” Steve interrupted.  
Bucky nodded slowly. “Her name is Y/N. She couldn’t have been older than 16 when Hydra took her.” But his mouth had suddenly gone dry when he reached this part of the story.  
“Bucky you can tell me.” Steve muttered encouragingly.  
“Hydra thought if they started giving me a reward after I successfully finished a mission, then I would be able to stay out of cryo longer without having episodes.”  
Steve’s face dropped. “Y/N was the reward.”  
Bucky didn’t confirm or deny his prediction. But Steve knew he was right.  
“Buck, did-did you…?” He couldn’t find the words.  
—–  
The Winter Soldier sat on the floor of his cell, staring at nothing. But he quickly got to his feet when the metal door started opening. His eyes narrowed when the guard was gripping a young woman tightly. So tightly that Bucky could already see bruises forming on the girls arm from the hold.  
Her eyes were blood shot from crying and she was barely wearing any clothes. The guard tossed her into the cell so hard that she fell to her knees, scraping the skin.  
“It’s your reward, soldat. Enjoy.” The guard said in Russian.  
The girl’s eyes slowly looked up at him in complete fear. Her entire body was shaking, expecting him to do the worst. She wobbled back onto her feet but slowly stepped away until her back hit the wall.  
The Winter Soldier watched her with interest. But he made no move toward her. Instead he went back to his spot on the floor at the opposite side of the room.  
His cell was always freezing. It didn’t bother him. But he could see that it was hurting the girl now. She had her arms wrapped around her knees, bringing them tightly to her chest. Her entire body now shook with fear and coldness. They had thrown her in there wearing just her underwear and a sports-bra. Clearly they thought it would entice the soldier.  
The solider glanced at the cot next to him. He’d flung the jacket from his last mission on their. They’d forgotten to take it from him.  
He slowly stood up and grabbed the jacket. He took a few steps toward the girl.  
Meanwhile her eyes widened and she thought this was the moment where he’d finally force himself onto her.  
But to her shock, he handed her the jacket.  
She stared at it for a moment, thinking it was some kind of trick. When he didn’t move, she finally took the jacket from his hand and slowly wrapped it around her shoulders.  
He moved back to his place at the other side of the cell.  
“You’re-you’re not like the others.” She stated in a shaky whisper.  
Somehow through the brainwashing, Bucky realized she was talking about the other Winter Soldiers. Had they tried this with them too? Was he just another cell she was forced into?  
Hours and hours passed. Bucky stayed in his place on the floor, watching her intently. She seemed to cower from his gaze and stared down at her feet instead. He could tell she was exhausted. Her eyelids dropped lower and lower. But she would jolt awake when they got too close, terrified of letting her guard down by falling asleep.  
There was a small outlet with Bucky’s conditioning: the longer he was left unfrozen without any demands or missions, the more he was Bucky and less soldier. He remained robotic, but little slips of his personality would manage to come through. He wasn’t so much the cold, unfeeling soldier…but more of a frightened prisoner.  
“What’s your name?” His voice was quiet and hoarse.  
The mere use of his voice jolted her awake. None of the others had asked for her name, let alone even talked to her. She was surprised he used English.  
Her eyes narrowed. But he waited patiently.  
“Y/N.” She whispered and buried her chin behind her knees, tightening her grip around herself. “Wha-what’s yours?” She didn’t know why she asked it. Maybe in that moment she realized how alone she’d been these past couple of years. There had been so much pain and torture that she didn’t have time to think about the loneliness…until now.  
Bucky’s jaw clenched.  
She realized he was concentrating, trying to find the answer.  
“It’s okay.” Y/N finally whispered.  
He snapped back into reality. Then he quickly got to his feet and it startled Y/N. He walked to her, but didn’t show any indication of touching her.  
“Sleep.” He commanded as his head gestured toward the cot in the corner.  
She shook her head. Yes, he seemed kinder and much more human than the others at this place. But that didn’t mean she trusted him.  
“Safe.” He said when she didn’t move a muscle.  
She glared up at him. Why was it so hard for him to form words?  
But she quickly realized he wasn’t going to move away from her until she did as he said. Out for fear of him hurting her if she didn’t listen, she slowly stood from her spot. Her muscles ached. As she stood, Bucky spotted various bruises on her legs. He knew he’d find more on her upper body, but his huge jacket covered the top half of her.  
Y/N watched him carefully as she stepped around, always facing him, and tiptoeing to the cot. It was nothing special. But as soon as the mere inch of cushion clutched her body, she let out a sigh. Her personal cell didn’t even have a cot.  
Bucky seemed satisfied. But he moved his sitting position so it was against the wall and next to the end of the bed. Now he was between Y/N and the door to the cell.  
Y/N’s gut still told her not to fall asleep, that it wasn’t safe. But her heart seemed to understand that this particular soldier meant her no harm.  
Except it didn’t matter, because her body was so exhausted. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept more than 30 minutes. With this soldier’s jacket, his cot, and this weird understanding that he wouldn’t let anything happen to her… she managed to fall into a deep sleep. It was something that hadn’t happened in the 2 years she’d been there.  
She didn’t wake up until the metal door was thrown open. Two Hydra men stood with their guns at their side.  
The soldier shot up from the ground and stood in front of the cot, blocking the intruders’ view of Y/N.  
Meanwhile, Y/N quickly sat up in bed. She was breathing heavily from the fear of what was about to happen next. Would they take her away like they had with the others?  
“Do you like your little pet, soldat?” One of them asked in Russian with a sneer.  
But Bucky just glared at the question.  
“I’m surprised she has more clothes on than when we gave her to you.” He added with a disgusting chuckle. But he spoke more to his comrade than Bucky. They both looked around the room, expecting to find Y/N’s underwear and bra ripped to shreds or disarray that proved there was struggle.  
“Alright. Time to go.” The other one said to Y/N.  
In a panic, she scurried back on the bed and tried to bury herself into the wall.  
She was prepared to fight them with as much strength as her body could muster.  
But that wasn’t necessary.  
Because Bucky quickly stepped forward and gripped the soldier’s neck with his metal arm. He lifted him off the ground, choking him.  
“Hey, hey, hey!” The other soldier yelled with his gun raised and pointed at Bucky. “Let him go!” Bucky ignored the demand and tightened his grip. “Put him down or I’ll shoot the girl!” He screamed even louder in Russian.  
This made Bucky freeze and he looked at Y/N to see a red dot on her chest. She was shaking in fear.  
“She stays.” Bucky growled in Russian. “My reward stays.”  
In a desperate attempt to save his own life and his comrades’, the Hydra soldier shook his head quickly. “Okay! You can keep your pet, soldat.” He spat.  
That was enough for Bucky, he tossed the soldier at the other as if they were mere ragdolls. They both scrambled to their feet and slammed the cell door shut.  
Y/N still shook on the bed, utterly confused about what happened. She didn’t know a word of Russian. So the conversation was no help.  
Bucky glanced back at her. His mind was so muddled that he didn’t know how to make her less scared. So he simply went back his spot on the floor.  
“Th-thank y-you.” She stuttered after a few moments. Despite not knowing what words were shared, she managed to figure out that the soldier had just fought to keep her here. She still didn’t trust him, but this was the safest she’d been in her imprisonment.  
—–  
Despite the near killings of two soldiers, Hydra saw Bucky’s draw to Y/N as a success and a new advantage. If their bond continued, they planned on using the girl against the Winter Soldier if he ever misbehaved.  
They allowed Y/N to remain in his cell. They brought food for them both. But only left one cot. It wasn’t until a week or two later that Bucky grabbed one of the soldiers roughly.  
“Clothes,” was all he said in Russian as he looked at Y/N.  
She was still only in her bra and underwear, her only warmth coming from Bucky’s discarded jacket.  
The Hydra soldier nodded in terror before giving the tray of food and sprinting from the cell.  
An hour later, someone returned with black sweatpants and a matching black hoodie.  
Bucky ripped them from their grasp and gently handed them to Y/N.  
He had yet to touch her. Even making sure not to accidentally graze her hand as he gave her the new clothes.  
They didn’t really talk. Y/N would’ve tried to converse if she knew that he could actually talk. It seemed he struggled to form thoughts of his own. His actions relied solely on instincts of the James Buchanan Barnes that Hydra tried so hard to kill.  
It wasn’t until a couple weeks later that a whole army arrived in their cell.  
Alexander Pierce walked in with two dozen guards accompanying him.  
Bucky shot up from the ground and once again took a protective stance between the intruders and Y/N.  
But she stood up this time, ready to fight. Now that she was getting fed consistently and could actually sleep, she’d never been stronger since being brought to Hydra.  
“I’ve was told you’d grown attached,” Pierce said with a knowing smirk. “But I never expected this.”  
This was the first time anyone had spoken English around Y/N and the soldier.  
Bucky’s jaw clenched and Y/N saw his hands tighten into fists at his side.  
“You have a mission, soldier.” Pierce explained. “You can come easily or we’ll hurt the girl, understand? If you succeed, she’ll be waiting here for you when you get back.”  
Bucky looked back at Y/N. Her eyes looked sad. She didn’t want him to go. He was the only good thing she had here. He was the only one that made him feel safe.  
But Bucky nodded.  
A second later, five soldiers rushed into the room. To Bucky’s surprise, they went for Y/N. In a panic, he grabbed a shoulder, shoving them off their feet and against a wall with his metal arm.  
“Ah, ah, ah.” Pierce reprimanded. “You hurt any more men and we’ll kill her.”  
The threat had the effect Pierce was looking for, because Bucky immediately dropped the soldier.  
He could do nothing but watch as Y/N was dragged from his cell. He looked like a kicked puppy: helpless and lost.  
“Now that we’ve taken care of all that.” Pierce sighed. “We have a target for you. A nuclear engineer is being escorted out of Iran. You are to intercept and eliminate the target outside Odessa, Ukraine.”  
Bucky listened to his orders. The soldier took over his body now that Y/N was no longer near him. It was like she was a small cure that lured Bucky back into the forefront of his mind.  
—–  
“That was the mission when you attacked Nat.” Steve interrupted the story.  
Bucky squinted and suddenly the memory came back. He hadn’t realized that he ran into Romanoff on that mission until now. She had been the one to escort the engineer. He shot through her to get to the target.  
“The scar on her abdomen…” Bucky muttered. He’d seen her without a shirt on quite frequently in the gym. “I did that.” A new wave of guilt washed over him.  
“It’s fine. She thinks it makes her look badass.” Steve tried to joke.  
But Bucky didn’t even so much as smirk.  
“Was that the last time you saw her?” Steve whispered.  
To his surprise, Bucky shook his head.  
—-  
Bucky was escorted through the halls of Hydra’s lair and back to his cell.  
His heart leapt when he saw Y/N already waiting for him on his cot.  
He quickly walked in, ignoring the slam of the cell door behind him.  
But he stopped walking toward her when he got a good look: she had a black eye and a split lip. However she looked so clean. She’s recently washed her hair. He also noticed the lack of hair on her body. She even had her toenails clipped.  
She gave him a sad smile. “Hi.”  
Bucky sat on the edge of the cot. He’d never done that before. His flesh hand reached toward her face, but he stopped.  
“It-it’s okay.” She assured him.  
He continued his reach and gently cupped her cheek. His thumb traced over the cut on her lip.  
“Who?” He growled.  
She shrugged. “I’m okay.”  
“Who?” He repeated.  
“One of the guards. They came to get me. I didn’t know they were bringing me back here. So I fought…they didn’t like that.”  
It was the most she’d ever spoken to him.  
Bucky’s entire body tensed. He wanted to kill them.  
To his shock, Y/N gripped his bicep. “But look.” She gestured to her face. He did as she said. Right before his eyes, her split lip sealed itself. Her black eye started fading.  
“I can heal myself.” Y/N explained in a whisper. “I tried to do it before you could see. But I’ve become weak from being here so long.” Her expression saddened.  
Then, to his surprise, she scurried closer to him on the cot. She wrapped her arms around his waist and rest her cheek against his chest. It was risky, she knew this. Bucky could easily rip her to shreds if he didn’t like this contact.  
“I’m glad you’re okay.” She sighed.  
But she didn’t expect him to respond. Bucky slowly and carefully wrapped his arms around her body.  
“Bucky.” He muttered lowly.  
Y/N pulled back to look at him. “What?” She gasped.  
“I…I think my name is Bucky.” His forehead wrinkled in confusion. It sounded right, but he wasn’t entirely sure.  
She nodded encouragingly. “Bucky. I like it.”  
But then her eyes darkened. “Bucky, I…I think they’re planning something for us.” Her eyes began to water in fear. She’d started putting it together when they were ‘preparing’ her for Bucky’s return.  
He narrowed his eyes in confusion.  
“They made me take a shower. Gave me a…a wax.” She blushed in embarrassment. “They were trying to make me look…better.” She almost used the word ‘pretty’ but it felt so wrong.  
“I won’t let them.” Bucky surprised her by saying.  
She placed her head against his chest again. “You might not have a choice.”  
—–  
“Once they gave the serum to the other Winter Soldiers, they didn’t know what else to do.” Bucky explained. “Y/N had been staying with me for a couple of years. Most of the time we didn’t talk. I didn’t know how, really. But she kept me calm and I kept her safe. During that time, they tried and tried to train the other Winter Soldiers. But they couldn’t be controlled. When they saw how attached I’d grown to Y/N, they thought they could create more super-soldiers in a different way.”  
Steve waited patiently for him to continue.  
“At first they figured they could just tell me to…to force myself on her.” Bucky growled. “They thought I had so little humanity left in me that I would do it as soon as the idea had been put in my head.” Bucky’s hands shook as he gripped his coffee mug. “They would order me to do it without using the words. Thank god they said it in Russian. I was able to keep it a secret from Y/N. But she knew better, she felt something terrible was coming.”  
Bucky took in a deep breath. “Hydra grew impatient and frustrated. It disgusted them that I had enough of a conscience to disobey such an order. My brainwashing allowed them to kill anyone they wanted, with me as their weapon. But my conditioning couldn’t bring me to do that to Y/N. And Hydra punished us both for it.”  
—–  
Bucky was sitting up in the cot while Y/N peacefully slept. Her head was on his chest, right arm draped over his waist. He mindlessly played with her hair. Listening to her slow breaths always relaxed him.  
But he didn’t have his guard up. When Hydra came in, they were surrounded.  
Y/N jolted awake. They both jumped to their feet. Bucky dragged her behind him, holding her body against his back with his flesh arm.  
One of the head doctors walked into the room. He had an evil smirk as he saw the two prisoners desperately tangled together.  
“Separate them.” He ordered.  
Before Bucky could attack. He was shocked with electric batons. He groaned and fell to his knees.  
“Stop it! You’re hurting him!” Y/N cried out. She knelt at his side, gripping his shoulders.  
But she was ripped away from him by two men. She tried to fight them off, elbowing and kicking anyone in her vicinity. But she wasn’t strong enough.  
The sound of her cries sprung a new energy into Bucky. But as soon as he tried to fight again, they shocked him with an even higher voltage.  
“Don’t worry, soldat. You will see her soon enough.” The doctor chuckled.  
Bucky tried to even his breathing as he felt Y/N getting dragged further and further away from him.  
The doctor stepped forward bravely. “Take off your gear.” He ordered Bucky.  
His chest was heaving up and down when he looked up at the doctor with utter helplessness. He knew he didn’t have a choice. He started undoing the leather buckles across his chest and unbuttoning his pants.  
A few minutes later, he was just standing in his black briefs, glaring. The doctor stepped forward and plunged a syringe into his neck. Bucky hissed, not from the pain, but from not stopping the assault.  
“These men are going to escort you to another room. If you misbehave, we will not hesitate to kill Y/N. Do you understand?” The doctor’s voice held no emotion, only threats.  
Bucky’s glare deepened, but he nodded in understanding.  
He was flanked by a dozen men, all their guns pointed at him.  
The doctor led the way down the hall and to another room. He placed his hand over a scanner and unlocked a new door. But he didn’t step in. Instead, he made eye contact with Bucky and nodded his head, ordering him silently to go in.  
When he saw what was waiting for him in the room, his heart broke.  
—–  
Bucky didn’t think he could go on with the story.  
“She…ugh…was tied up.” Tears silently fell down Bucky’s cheeks. “The doctor said if I didn’t do as they said, they would toss her in a cell with one of the other Winter Soldiers and have them do it.”  
Bucky roughly wiped away the tears with the back of his hand. “I killed a lot of people, Steve. But what happened that day…it was the worse thing I’ve ever done.”  
Whenever Bucky shared memories of his Winter Soldier days, Steve was quick to remind him that it wasn’t his fault. But he couldn’t find the comforting words this time.  
“I still was the Winter Soldier when I did it. But I was enough of myself to know that what I was doing was wrong and I tried to stop it.” Bucky sniffed and wiped more tears away. “Afterwards, I thought they’d leave us alone… Let me look after her. But they separated us, threw me back into cryo and did god knows what with her. The next time they woke me up was when they ordered me to kill Fury. By then, I’d forgotten about her.”  
Silence filled the kitchen.  
“You didn’t have a choice, Bucky.” Steve insisted.  
Bucky was now thinking about all the things that could’ve happened to her since they were separated. It had been years since that terrible day.  
“Please just make sure someone takes care of her.” Bucky whispered before quickly making his exit from the kitchen.  
“Buck, wait!” Steve shouted. He stopped. “You don’t want to see her?”  
“She shouldn’t ever have to look at me again. I’m probably the lead in all of her nightmares, Steve.”  
With that, he left the kitchen.  
—–  
Y/N’s eyes fluttered open. The smells are what alerted her first. It was too clean, too sterile. This wasn’t the vault or any other Hydra cell.  
“Don’t worry. You’re safe. You’re at the Avenger’s compound…the medical wing, to be exact.”  
Y/N’s gaze snapped to a woman in the corner of her room. She had long, dark red and curly hair. Her face gave Y/N an odd comfort. But she knew better than to trust anyone.  
Avenger’s compound?” Y/N scoffed in disbelief.  
She’d actually been taken by Hydra not long after the alien invasion in New York. During her imprisonment, it was hard to believe in heroes anymore.  
“Yes, have you heard of us?” The girl asked politely.  
But Y/N only narrows her eyes.  
“Would it help if I grabbed someone you recognized? Tony Stark or Steve Rogers?”  
Y/N didn’t answer.  
“Okay. I’ll be right back. Oh! I’m Wanda by the way.” Without a response, she rushed out of the room.  
Y/N used her time alone to take in the room. She was looking for exits and anything she could use for a weapon. This was definitely no Hydra facility. But that still didn’t mean she wasn’t a prisoner and this place wasn’t filled with people of ill intent.  
“Y/N?” A deep voice asked.  
Lo and behold, Captain America was walking into the room with the first girl right behind him. His eyes were even bluer than they seemed in pictures and on TV. He wasn’t in his famous uniform though. Instead, he was wearing dark jeans and a light grey t-shirt.  
“How do you know my name?” Her voice was low and careful.  
Steve ignored her question. “We found you in an abandoned Hydra facility and brought you back to the Avengers’ compound. You’re safe. We mean you no harm.”  
Y/N noticed how he seemed very intent on keeping a safe distance between them.  
“Do you want to see his shield? Would that help convince you?” Wanda smirked.  
But Y/N didn’t even crack a smile.  
“Can we get you anything?” Steve asked softly.  
“Have-have you called my family?” Her bottom lip trembled at the thought of seeing them again. They probably thought she was dead.  
“They should be here next week.” The doctors want to run a few tests and keep you on bedrest for a few more days.  
Y/N nodded, trying not to get emotional in front of these strangers.  
“Did you tell Bucky that she was awake?” Wanda whispered.  
“Bucky?” Y/N yelped out.  
Steve gave a panicked glare to Wanda. But the poor girl didn’t know that Bucky wanted to remain a secret to Y/N.

“You know Bucky?” Wanda asked carefully.

“He’s…he…Bucky is here?” To their surprise she looked hopeful at the idea. 

“Wanda, can you give us a minute?” Steve asked politely. She nodded and left the room, closing the door behind her.

“Is it okay if I sit?” Steve asked as he pointed to the empty chair behind her bedside. In his head, he kept hearing Bucky’s warnings to keep his distance.

She nodded.

“Is he okay?” Y/N whispered.

Steve nodded.

“How did you find him?”

For the next couple hours or so, Steve told Bucky’s story. Y/N had no idea that Bucky was a man of the past. Everyone knew Steve Rogers’ story. It was taught in almost every history class. But it was easy for teachers not to spend as much time on his best friend or even the rest of the Howling Commandos.

As Y/N listened, she cursed herself for not paying closer attention in class. If she’d put it together, realized who Bucky was, then maybe she could’ve helped him more.

Steve updated her on everything she missed with Hydra’s attack on DC. Y/N’s eyes seemed to change, like she’d known something had happened while she had been in the clutches of the enemy. They started moving prisoners around. It explained why they’d left her for dead in that abandoned place.

“How long had you been in the vault?” Steve asked quietly.

Y/N shrugged. “I don’t know. Time…it stopped moving for me. I refused to keep track. It was just a reminder of how long I’d been their prisoner. I thought I’d die there.”

Without realizing what he was doing, Steve took her hand in his to comfort her. She didn’t flinch or pull away, but welcomed it.

“Can I see him? Can I see Bucky?” Y/N breathed.

Steve gave her a sympathetic look. He didn’t know how to tell her that Bucky couldn’t face her. Bucky was so convinced that she’d be terrified of him that he never even considered that she’d want to see him.

“He doesn’t want to see me again.” Y/N muttered, answering her own question.

Steve opened his mouth to protest. But quickly shut it when he realized he didn’t know what to tell her.

“I just wanted to thank him.” Y/N sighed.

“Thank him?” Steve whispered in disbelief.

Her eyes snapped up to him, surprised by his reaction. “He was the only good thing that happened to me while I was there. He kept me safe, more than I think he realized. We both knew they were using me to keep him calm. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t care for him too.”

Steve looked unconvinced.

Y/N studied him carefully, almost like she could read his mind. “Oh.” She suddenly realized. “He told you what they made him do, didn’t he?”

Steve nodded. “In so few words…”

Y/N squeezed his hand. “Well…would you like to hear my version? Maybe you could pass it along to Bucky and convince him that I do really wish to see him?”

Steve bowed his head.

“Yes, they ordered him to do it. When he stepped forward, he looked terrified. I didn’t want him to think that he was really doing what he thought he was. We were alone in the room, but there was a one-way mirror that those sick people were watching us through. I kept whispering to him that it was okay…that I wanted him to do it. I knew neither of us had a choice.” Y/N took in a deep breath. “Hydra had strapped me down. Bucky undid the buckles. We tried to pretend we were alone in that room…That it was normal. He was so careful and gentle to me. I kissed him to try and stop his shaking. He needed to be comforted more than I did.”

Y/N spared Steve the gory and disturbing details. But she wanted to make sure she made herself very clear: she’d given Bucky consent and comfort. Because she didn’t want to add any more guilt to his conscience.

“I used to wonder why Hydra did it that way. It could’ve been painless. They could’ve done IVF, took out the physicality of it. But I realize now why they didn’t. Hydra saw that we brought each other what small comfort and happiness we could find while being their prisoners. So they punished us for it, and reminded us that we still belonged to them.”

“Thank you…for telling me.” Steve muttered. He cleared his throat. “I’m truly sorry for everything they did to you.”

“It wasn’t your doing.” Y/N didn’t know what else to say. 

—–

Bucky walked down the dark hallway with complete stealth. He knew everyone was asleep. Otherwise he wouldn’t have snuck down to the medical wing.

Steve had come to his room earlier that night. He tried to retell Y/N’s story word for word. When he was done, Bucky gave him no reaction. He made it so impossible for Steve to read him that Steve was convinced Bucky still wouldn’t go see Y/N.

Now he was tiptoeing down the linoleum floor.

He heard her breathing before he saw her.

Y/N was asleep in the patients room.

She’d never looked more beautiful. Now that she was out of Hydra’s grasp, her skin had regained it’s healthy glow. Her hair didn’t appear so dry. The shadows under her eyes were almost completely gone. Bucky realized how much older she looked now too. When he’d first met her, she was a teenager. Now she had to be in her early 20s.

Bucky couldn’t stop as his feet led him to the chair at her bedside.

Her hand was so close to him. It took all of his power not to grab it.

“You don’t have to be so scared to touch me.” Y/N mumbled with her eyes closed.

Bucky’s eyes widened and he sat back in his chair, putting just that much more distance between them.

Y/N slowly opened her eyes. “I taught myself over the years to know when someone sneaks into my room while I’m sleeping.” She smirked proudly.

Bucky gave her a shy smile.

“Strange.” Y/N hummed. “You almost look like a different person.”

Bucky’s bottom lip quivered as he looked down at his handwringing. “I’m sorry…for everything. For what I did to you. For not coming back for you. For forgetting.”

“Nothing that happened to me is your fault. You were their captive, just like me. All the terrible things that happened to us? That was all Hydra.” Her voice was quiet and soothing, but the words were strong and true.

Bucky nodded, trying to let her words convince him.

“I have to tell you something, Bucky.” Y/N whispered. “After what they made us do…I got pregnant.”

He looked up from the ground in shock.

“I had a miscarriage a month later.” She looked down at her hands. “Sometimes I think that’s why they wouldn’t let me see you again.” Tears started falling. “When I was recovering, I kept begging them for you. Eventually, I convinced myself that you were dead.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m so sorry.” He gasped.

—–

A few days later, Y/N’s family arrived at the compound. The room was filled with emotions. Her mom and dad were crying uncontrollably. Y/N seemed rather shocked.

Bucky watched it happen from a distance.

He hated himself for wanting Y/N to stay longer. It was strange trying to deconstruct what their relationship had been. He had called it Stockholm Syndrome once in front of Nat and Steve. But they were both quick to correct him: they hadn’t been each other’s prisoners; they had been Hydra’s.

“It’s okay, you know.” Nat appeared at Bucky’s side, also watching the reunion.

He didn’t say anything.

“It’s okay to feel something for her.”

“But is it real?” He challenged.

“Just because it was life or death, doesn’t mean that it isn’t real, Barnes. You two spent years together.” Nat answered.

“I’m worried about her.” Bucky admitted. “The transition…it’s not easy.”

“Her family will look out for her.” Nat reassured him.

But will that be enough? Bucky wondered. Even though he wasn’t in Winter Soldier mode, he still felt a protectiveness toward Y/N.

—–

“Bucky! Buck! Wake up!” He roused to Steve shaking his shoulder.

“What? What is it?” He grumbled sleepily.

“It’s Y/N.” Steve sighed.

That woke Bucky up. He whipped the covers off of his body and followed Steve down the hall to a conference room. Dr. Cho was on the TV screen in a video chat.

“Sergeant Barnes, I wanted to inform you that Y/N attempted suicide earlier tonight.”

Bucky’s stomach dropped.

“Thankfully she was unsuccessful. With my psychiatry team at the compound, I thought it might be best for Y/N to start treatment there.”

Bucky nodded in understanding and tried to keep his emotions in check.

“The reason I asked Captain Rogers to wake you is because I think you could also help Y/N a great deal. You were with her during her imprisonment. You’re also much further along in your own recovering than she is…”

“Yes, of course. Of course I’ll help her.” Bucky cut off Dr. Cho before she could even ask.

She was thankful and continued to explain the situation, referencing post traumatic stress disorder and survivor’s guilt.

Bucky was simply grateful that he could keep an eye on Y/N.

Once the call was over, Steve looked at Bucky. “You okay?”

Bucky swallowed and managed to nod his head.

—–

6 MONTHS LATER

 

“FRIDAY where is Y/N?” Bucky asked with some concern.

“On the roof, sir.” The AI responded.

“What!? Her access was taken away from entering the roof. Why didn’t you inform someone?!” Bucky yelled at the system and sprinted towards the elevator.

“She is perfectly safe, Sergeant Barnes. Y/N was recently given clearance from Dr. Cho.”

The words gave Bucky no comfort though. He was sprinting out of the elevator, only slowing down when he found Y/N sitting on a chair, wrapped in a blanket. She had a mug of hard cider in her grasp.

“Jesus Christ, Y/N. You scared the crap out of me.” Bucky sighed as he tried to catch his breath and sat on the seat next to her.

Y/N was gazing at the stars. “No one ever tells you how annoying it is after you try to kill yourself… Everyone thinks you’ll jump off a building the moment you’re alone.”

Bucky chuckled. He’d gotten used to her humor. When Y/N finally started finding herself again, he was pleasantly surprised by her sassiness and sarcasm. It was refreshing, but quickly became concerning when she used it to cover her pain.

She finally looked at him. “But I’m sorry for worrying you.” She let out a sigh. “I couldn’t sleep. So I thought I’d come out and look at the stars.”

Bucky followed her gaze up. “Well, they are beautiful.”

“At least they let you out of the cage to see them every once in awhile. I hadn’t seen the sky until 6 months ago.”

A peaceful silence settled between them.

Bucky saw her burrowing further into her blanket and bringing her mug of hot cider closer to her chest.

“Are you cold?” He asked.

She nodded. “I don’t want to go inside though.”

“Come here.” Bucky instructed softly.

Y/N watched him for a second before getting up and sitting on his lap. He wrapped his arms around her tightly.

“How are you so warm all the time?” She sighed.

“Guess it’s the serum.” Bucky shrugged.

Then he felt her body tense.

“Bucky?” Y/N whispered.

“Yeah, doll?”

“You don’t have to look after me, you know.” Her usual sass was missing. “I know you still feel guilty about everything. And I know you feel responsible for me. But I would prefer it if you ignored me.” Then she twisted her body slightly so she could read his face.

“Why?” Bucky challenged.

Y/N started crying then. “Because when you don’t feel guilty anymore and you stop feeling responsible for me…you’ll leave. And I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do when you’re gone.”

Bucky brought her closer to his chest, rubbing her back. “Well, what if I said I do it because I care about you?”

Her crying paused for a moment so she could read if he was being serious or not.

“What if I said I do it because,” Bucky took a deep breath, “Because I love you?”

Y/N gave him a sad smile and wiped away her tears. “I’d say I don’t believe you.”

Bucky’s expression looked a little heartbroken. “Well…I guess I’ll just have to prove it to you, Y/N.”

“Does it get easier?” She asked with a sad desperation.

“Yeah, I promise it does.”

—-


End file.
